MEMO TO JOHN McCAIN:

By Matt Bender

WHY YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE THE ELECTION…

1. You’re hopelessly tied to the most unpopular president in a generation and maybe eventually of all-time.

2. You and your charismatic, but unqualified running mate are running around the country attempting to make an issue of your opponent’s ties to a 60s radical while the global economy disintegrates.

3. You’ve been in Washington for nearly three decades making it impossible for you to be a real maverick.

4. Your snippy personality makes people not like you.

5. You’ve been anything but steady in the eye of a storm.

Signed,

The American People

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